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are you being dumped?
You're thinking about Paris and champagne, they're thinking about tantric sex with the new person in accounts



Love's young dream

 

 

 


Discovering yourself

 

 


just a phase

 
Partner working late again?
When partner shows you a text message, do they flick rapidly through four or five old messages before showing you the handset?
Does partner become restless and hovering when you're use their computer? Do they spend several minutes minimising windows and closing email programs before you can sit down?
Gym. Yoga. Healthy eating. Partner has suddenly stopped letting themselves go. Inevitable slide into mid-life paunchiness halted.
Heard any of the following phrases recently? "...not you - me", "friends" and "No, I'm just tired"
Partner suddenly knowledgeable about IRC, chatrooms, and forums. Refers to Cybersex casually as "cyber" and uses broad vocabulary of emoticons never used in emails to you
A particular friend of yours suddenly starts visiting your house more often that strictly necessary. Can't look you in the eye.
Partner takes hours and several fretful changes of clothes to get ready for a "couple of drinks" with "some mates from work"
Friends seem overly considerate of you, constantly asking how you are, and exchanging looks with each other when around you?
At one in the morning, are you suddenly awoken by sound of partner coming in, cleaning teeth, showing and washing pants in sink?
Strange but familiar looking stain on partner's top
You keep finding rambling, depressed poetry on odd pieces of paper around the house
» submit your being dumped observation
written by Paul Lakin & Rhodri Marsden

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