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entry 43 - 26th December 01
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things are getting weird 11.00 pm. Just woken up after about 24 hours. It's dark and raining outside and I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable internally, like I'm filled with gravel. My pulse is irregular. My mind's racing and I can't pin any thoughts down. This is very difficult to write. What's left (memories) from last night: loads. Main one: Tim-tom was in my flat. I should have sellotaped a hair across my door, or
stuck a bit of rolled up paper into the crack or something. At least then
I'd know for sure if somebody came in. It'd be easy to get in using a
credit card. I'm going to have a cup of tea and then go back to bed. 11.10 pm. Fucking hell! I've just found a note I've obviously written to myself. It was next to the mural Tim-Tom painted, but I have absolutely no recollection of having written it, or of having sellotaped it to the wall. This is really scary... it's definitely my writing...
It says: "I woke up in a hedge in a field on the edge of town two hours ago. Normally when you wake up in a hedge, it's because you were pissed out of your mind last night and got lost on your way back from the pub, but all I remember is taking three Mogadons an hour ago and falling asleep in my bed: last night at half past eleven. Did I walk to the hedge under the power of the sleeping tablets? Three miles? Or did Tim-tom carry me to the boot of his car, and dump me there? Remember the mural. Remember the mural. And there were loads of stones in my pockets. What the fuck were they for? I should have kept them. On the walk home I saw Tim-Tom skulking in the shadows. At some point he said "Tim does the painting, that's what Tom does. Tim does the fires." I'm taking another Mogadon. It's now 5.00 p.m. Take this seriously." 11.30 pm. Okay, I've logged it. And now I'm
taking another Mogadon. Maybe it won't all look so scary in the morning.
I can't really believe this is happening to me.
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I've
just looked at my wall, and the painted silhoutte of Tim-tom is clearly
visible: head back, cock in electric socket. It's not as vibrant as it
was yesterday - more of a messy beige wash - but it's unmistakable. And
it wasn't there before. (I think I might have noticed something like that
on my wall).
