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Geordie's Ant Arena

I've just come back from a nice evening out... there was a party at Suzies', who lives at the end of my road, which kind of decanted itself onto the beach.

I got talking to this bloke called Geordie, who I've seen around but never really spoken to before. He used to be in the Navy, a submariner. He was involved in the Falklands War, but nobody ever saw him or his shipmates seeing as they were - naturally - underwater. Geordie's naval career eventually came to an abrupt end, according to Brendan, when he was forced by several other ratings into joining the half mile deep club at the dark end of the submarine's reactor room.


I was a bit too scared to take a pic of Geordie so I drew this artist's representation (which sort of explains why I was scared to photograph him)

After that he became a lighthouse keeper, which he continued to do for about ten years, until, thanks to the countrywide lighthouse automation scheme, he was out of a job once more. He collected a small golden handshake and moved here, to Hastings, where he's been ever since.

Anyway so there we were, at Suzie's party and Geordie had this really brilliant thing he called his Ant Arena. He said he'd had it since his schooldays. He told me it was a Newcastle thing, rooted in the early 1970's; that loads of kids up there had them back then.

How To Make An Ant Arena

1 Preparation
Take a gentleman's pocket watch. Remove all the gubbins.
NOTE: Check with Antique's Roadshow to make sure it's not worth £80,000
2. The Entrance
Remove winding mechanism to reveal 'hole' (a). This is your Ant Arena 'entrance'
3. Loading the Arena
Follow this diagram to insert your ants into the arena.
NOTE: you can obviously dispense with the removal of the winding mechanism and the addition of the 'entrance funnel' by simply opening the lid, and dropping the ants in.
4. Bets Gentlemen Please!
Choose your red ant champion. If he wins reward him with ant food. Test his mettle on numerous configurations of foes: 2 black ants, 1 red ant, 1 black and 1 red, 2 reds. Maybe paint a tiny logo on his back and get brand sponsorship.
5. Portable Training Centre (tm)
For day to day fitness training of your champ.
   

Ant Arena (Flash version)
Now you too can experience first hand the thrills and spills of fighting in the Ant Arena. The spods at seethru insisted on doing a Flash version from my designs. See if you can get into the hi-score chart. Take it away.



Enjoy. See you tomorrow
Duncan

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