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Since when does a weighty
Tory in a bad skirt with a genuinely bad idea constitute sparking
a debate?
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When I woke up today,
I knew something was wrong. My first glance at the newspapers confirmed
it.
Holy shit, I thought. Some idiot has gone back
in time, trod on a butterfly, and altered the course of history.
In this parallel universe, I'm in agreement with the Daily Mail.
Aaaarrggrhh. I'm scared.
I mean, if me and the Mail see eye to eye on cannabis and seven members
of the Tory shadow cabinet admit to smoking the puffweed, what else
might we agree on? That there's far too much attention paid to 'minority
rights'? That we should bring back hanging?
It is, after all, the only language they understand. Isn't it?
No no it's okay. Phew. Closer inspection of this streak of neo-liberalism
in a rag like the Daily Mail reveals the same old same old
the Daily Mail's five point plan for
a drugs debate
(all quotes
from Daily Mail, 9th October)
1) Exonerate Widdecombe
Instead of being laughed at, apparently Widders must be "admired"
and "credited" for having sparked "a debate".
Eh? Since when does a weighty Tory in a bad skirt trying to whip up
a frothing Tory crowd with a genuinely bad idea constitute sparking
a debate?
Oh I see. This is what they call 'spin'.
2) Praise Widdecombe for her vision
"Here is a politician who has actually made people stop, listen, and
think about drug abuse".
Yeah. By bending over double and talking openly out of her arse.
3) Next, blindside opposition by encouraging
a measured debate on cannabis
"[we see] the need for a wide-ranging debate…one that will have to
examine the arguments of those who want cannabis decriminalised…coolly
and rationally"
4) Then…stick the knife in!
"The Mail's view of drugs and drug-taking is unwavering. Without reservation,
we abhor them"
Nice opening salvo for any broad-minded debate.
Then:
"Drug use continues to increase…the cost in human misery is incalculable…[soft
drugs] are injurious to health and tragically often lead to harder
substances".
But hold on. You wanted a debate a minute ago, but now it sounds like
you've already made up your mind.
5) Just carry on. Keep going. With
your spittle flecked lips. Carry on. They're listening now. They want
it. Tell them. Tell them all.
"vast criminal industry…drug-related crime…hooked on heroin…moral
laxity…for our children's sake…" THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
by Soph
related links:
Anne
Widdecombe's homepage »
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