Anne Widdecombe, shadow whatever in that macabre puppet show called the Tory Party, has announced a "hard-line" "zero tolerance" "crack-down" on a "cancer" at the heart of Britan.

No, not single parent mothers. Nor asylum seekers, aggressive beggars, or squeegee merchants.

No, this year's voiceless minority to be picked on are:

Cannabis users.

After all, cannabis users are at the heart of violent crime in this country. You've seen them, in their gangs, on Friday nights, roving up and down high streets, looking for trouble.

Widdecombe's mouth appears to be a fat hole in space time through which we get an occasional glimpse of a parallel nightmare universe.

She insists we are currently too "soft" on cannabis users. They get off "scot free with a caution".

Um, yeah, a caution gives you a criminal record - forever, only becoming 'spent' after six or seven years. And a criminal record makes it harder to get a job and harder to travel. Hardly "scot free".

Nearly 100,000 people were cautioned, arrested, or imprisoned a year for cannabis use. That's four times more than all the other drugs put together.

How much more of a "zero tolerance" "crackdown" on this "scourge" do we need?

The only danger we really foresee from cannabis users is that their munchies may eat into our national stocks of chocolate-flavoured milk and wheat crunchies (Worcester Sauce), causing panic-buying at 24 hour garages up and down the country.

Now that is something to worry about.

by Soph

related links:
Anne Widdecombe's homepage »