Pop quiz. How many laydeez were on the cover of the NME this year? Go on, have a guess. One year, 52 covers: how many of them featured females? Twenty? Ten? Five?

Nah. Two! And both of them were Kelis! And one cover was shared with balding munter of dance Moby! Does this represent a serious commitment to covering non-geezer recording artists, I wonder?

Shyeah, right.

Course, it's not just the NME. The last time a lady graced the cover of Select was way back in September 1999. Q magazine's list of 100 Greatest British Artists featured - count 'em - six women. And it's not even worth mentioning the NME's list of the 20 Most Influential Artists of All Time, because, like, apparently, NO women have ever had any influence EVER.

But, what-EVAH. It's utterly 1991 to whinge about gender bias in the music press, isn't it? And at least they've recruited a few token 'sad-sack suck-up' girlies to their roster of reviewers and writers, right? So what if most music journos seem to be more interested in flicking themselves off to the greasy cleavages of Playboy models in Bloodhound Gang videos than to writing articles dedicated to female rawkers? Nu Sexism: does it matter?

Well, duh. You knew the answer was going to be yes, didn't you? And you're just as bored of reading about this subject as I am about writing it, aren't you? But it's not fucking going away, is it?

Week after week, some minging geezer flaunts his face on the cover of the NME. Month after month, some sub-Stereophonics pap in ugly check shirts is heralded as the greatest thing since the last lot of check-shirted sub-Stereophonics pap.And how come it's still alright for male 'artists' to be complete mingers whereas women have to have looks and talent - with looks being by far the most important. Where are the female Van Morrisons or Shane MacGowans?

Now, to top it all, we have the NME, once the sole preserve of wide-eyed schmindie students and sensitive Smiths fans, rolling over and presenting itself to the sweaty, flabrous tattooed boys of Nu Metal like a bitch in heat. And it ain't funny any more. It never was.

'We'd like to think', wrote Q about their list of 100 Greatest British Albums Ever 'that this list emphasises the multicultural, multi-ethnic, multi-regional aspects of music on these isles'. Well, that's very big of you, boys. How very inclusive and postmodern and so damn 2001 of you. But you forgot something, didn't you?

The multi-gendered aspect.

Sheesh. If you want me, I'll be in the newsagents.

Sobbing.

by Anna