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forget
the record industry - Napster poses a far more serious threat: an
80's music rival
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We've
been told that Napster will destroy the music industry as we know
it. Labels won't be able to afford to publish, musicians won't get
advances and retailers will go bankrupt. Yeah yeah.
Napster poses a far more deadly threat. More pernicious, more deadly
than you could imagine.
Napster is turning our offices into eighties throwback discos.
Today alone I have suffered listening to Boy
Meets Girl, Save
Your Love My Darling, Jive
Talkin', and half an hour solid of Lionel
Richie. I wouldn't put up with this in a club. I'd be
out and down the road faster than if Sean McGowan asked me for a
snog.
The worst thing is my co-workers say it's just a laugh. Oh please,
Ebony And Ivory contravenes most UN guidelines on human rights.
They smile and giggle as There Is Power In A Union segues
nauseatingly into Thriller.
I decide to get my own back.
I start with an opening salvo of the Frog
Chorus, Where
The Streets Have No Name (Pet Shop Boys version natch)
and Clever
Trevor. That should shut them up.
Unfortunately they respond with their smart bomb - The
Girl Is Mine. McCartney and Jackson. Aaaarghh. He's a
lover, not a fighter. Shit. How can I possibly beat that?
No, there's one last chance. With the last of my energy, I reach
for my MP3 folder...drag the mouse...click on...Shaddapayaface
- Joe Dolche.
The ultimate weapon.
I won that battle but I fear there will be many, many more. Be careful.
by Richard Johnston
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