"I'd like to give my most sincere assurances that we, The United States Of America wish to completely fuck up the planet."

So said George Bush, just now, in my head.

The dozy tosser continues his tenacious grip on the title of Man Least Likely To Join Mensa, having red-penned the Kyoto treaty which agrees on the reduction of CO2 emissions.

"But you signed it!", "No", says George. In my head. "I didn't sign it. That bastard Al Gore did." And now the head of the US Environmental Protection Agency has said that the US has "no interest" in the treaty. Why?

Bush says he can't do anything that will harm the US economy, or affect the jobs of American workers. Um… But isn't reducing your gluttonous over-consumption of the world's resources going to screw up considerably fewer lives than if large swathes of Oklahoma, Louisiana and Georgia are rendered uninhabitable by the advancing desert…

- "We have an energy shortage". Then use less energy, dickbrain. You also have an obesity problem so why not try to encourage a few more lardasses to get the fuck out of their station wagons, their 4 x 4s, their utility vehicles, and walk to work.

- "But the developing countries don't have to reduce emissions." Agggh! Grow up! This is not a playground spat over marbles. Take some sodding responsibility. Besides the US is responsible for a quarter of the gases that are causing this problem, and somehow I don't think that the citizens of Laos, Papua New Guinea and Angola are microwaving quite as many ready-meals as you.

The real issue is, of course, that Bush is an oil man. His campaign was funded by multinational corporations responsible (ha!) for heat, light and power. They can't be seen to let down the shareholders.

The irony is that Bush's nationalistic attitude is going to have a more serious effect on the population of the planet than any of the rogue states, the mad dictators, the religious fundamentalists that he tells us are so dangerous for global welfare.

And in the meantime the money he saves on global issues gets ploughed into his ludicrous tax cuts programme - giving money back to the members of the richest nation in the world.

When they look back in 100 years I hope Bush is held responsible for Pacific island states being swallowed up by the ocean, and Europe being ravaged by tropical diseases. Unfortunately he won't be around to get the good kicking he so thoroughly deserves.

by Rhodri