Charades
The players position themselves round the television set, watching the Maisie Raine Christmas Special.

Play commences when someone declares their intention to watch, say, A View To A Kill in half an hour. Play passes to the left, with player two claming that there's something much better on, for example a documentary with David Jason and a dolphin.

Each player in turn must now state which programme they would much rather be watching, with no programme allowed more than one vote. The game is repeated ad nauseum until the whole Christmas evening has been wasted.

They're Called Cheeses
Clear the table and set everything up as if you were about to play a game of Trivial Pursuit.

Turn all the wheel-shaped pieces upside down and use a safety pin to prise out the coloured plastic segments that have somehow got jammed in the wrong way round. This opens play.

Player one offers an opening gambit by tutting and saying, "Bloody hell, have all the wedges have got stuck in the sodding holes again?"

Player two must now roll their eyes and say, "They're called cheeses."

Play passes back to player one, who says, "No, I think you'll find they're called wedges."

A third player may now enter, insisting that, "They're pieces of pie, actually."

And so on. No Trivial Pursuit is actually played. The last player to flounce upstairs in a strop wins.

written by Joel Morris & David McCandless

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