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the summer festival guide
toilets and mains stage area
the two places you'll spend most of your time
(queueing)
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| Unsuitable exotic food being sold in impractical containers (for example paper cones of crab’s eye soup). |
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| Smug stilt walkers from the circus tents. |
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| Four people fighting to the death over the last clean Wet One |
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| Heavily made-up girl in high heels, tiptoeing through effluent, retching at each door before falling on her hands and knees, vomiting into the slurry. |
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| Devil’s Tower of shit, being sculpted by LSD freak who thinks he’s Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters. |
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| Effluent pond, attended by hippie ferryman in a coracle. ‘‘Here Be Jobbies’’ |
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| Ashen faced cleaner with Ghostbusters stool vacuum and thousand yard stare. |
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| Crowd of cunning bowel-clenchers following Cack Tractor like crows in harvest, having realised that the toilets are in the best condition immediately after a visit from said tractor. |
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| Someone swapping the keys to their car in exchange for four dry Rizlas. |
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| Litter patrollers who’ve been picking up used condoms since 5am, becoming less enthusiastic by the minute about seeing the Festival for free. |
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| Enormously fat Wiccan high priestess dressed entirely in Batik-print hessian, married to a bloke who looks like Father Christmas (but with tattoos) |
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| The Fucking Bare Pissing Naked Cocking Ladies. |
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| Lost clown, trying to ask directions to the circus field through the art of mime. |
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| move the mouse over the image to reveal details. |
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