» Rain dance at football ground postponed by waterlogged pitch » Cat dies 2 weeks after inheriting £5000 » Bride Attacks husband with Wedding Cake » Airline fined for shredding squirrels » Female Trout fake orgasms » Surgeon operates on wrong limb again » Cuba and Bacardi fight it out over ownership » Ad comparing OAPs to "incontinent bitches" withdrawn » Woman burned after sex starts forest fire » Undertaker falls into grave with coffin » Shit hits the house » Skydiver lands on barmaid during coleslaw wrestling event » Cameraman would have lost job if he'd helped burning game-show contestant » Sheep suspected of shooting shepherd » Busker shot dead after confessing he doesn't know how to play "The Turkey Song" » Man turns son into limited company » All Russian Banana Party approves use of bananas during sex » Bush's latest inane remarks: now toothpaste gets the analytical treatment » US goes mad part 8023: It's now a crime NOT to own a gun » Former marijuana smuggler seeks employment » and then ends up getting inundated with offers
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