| ever... |
|
placed your phone on a restaurant table alongside cutlery
like it's some kind of participant in the meal? |
Yes
No |
|
bought a fancy garish phone cover, supposedly as 'protection'
for the valuable contents, but in fact chosen on the strength
of it matching your nails? |
Yes
No |
|
downloaded "Oxygene" as a ring tone, and then every
time your phone rings in public proudly letting it complete
the whole sodding tone before answering it? |
Yes
No |
|
sneered at someone else's handset because it's larger than
your model, which conveniently folds down into the size of
a throat lozenge? |
Yes
No |
|
watched a TV commercial for WAP phones in which a normal bloke
is sucked inside his phone and becomes a silver robot man
on a surfboard riding the waves of a magical 3D "web
world", believed it, and then spent shitloads on a form
of technology as outdated as useless as the slide rule? |
Yes
No |
|
kept your phone in a clip-on pocket on your specifically-designed
diagonal shoulder bag slung over your specifically-designed
jacket with specifically-designed facilities for storing the
hands-free set? |
Yes
No |
|
reacted to a momentary loss of reception in the same way as
you might react to the death of your parents, screaming incoherently
into the handset even though the other person clearly cannot
and will never hear you? |
Yes
No |
|
in a moment of stupidity, forgotten your mobile and spent
the evening jealously glancing at other peoples'? |
Yes
No |
|
lost your mobile and all your phone numbers because you never
wrote them down, you twat? |
Yes
No |
|
find it difficult now to remember more than 3 digits of
any number told to you? |
Yes
No |
|
forgot to keylock your phone, had it dial one of your friends
by itself, and had a little crackly voice crying "Hello?
Hello?" out of your pocket like Vincent Price at the
end of The Fly |
Yes
No |
|
pretended that your battery's "running low" to
get out of a phone call? |
Yes
No |
|
keep your phone on all night - you know, just in case? |
Yes
No |
|
spent 40 to 45 minutes on hold to a "customer care
representative" while some tuneless corporate jingle
which sounds like Brian Eno watered down with piss plays over
and over again? |
Yes
No |
|
Felt glad that the shitty greed-smeared telecoms companies
have lost billions |
Yes
No |
|
for four seconds, swallowed all that mobile phones = brain
damage hype, got yourself a hands-free and wandered the streets
like a schizophenic, apparently talking to yourself with looking-yet-not-looking
starey eyes? |
Yes
No |
|
Not wanted to receive a call so let the phone ring and ring
and ring and ring until it goes to voicemail, despite receiving
death stares from all the people around you |
Yes
No |
|
Phoned your mobile from a landline to find out where it
is? |
Yes
No |
|
And found it was in your bag all the time? |
Yes
No |
|
swore you'd never get a mobile but now I "can't live
without it"? |
Yes
No |
