 Have
you been standing in the same spot for 53 minutes while a
man at the counter buys five thousand pounds' worth of 3-pence
stamps, fills out an application form to get his mother committed
and tries to post a piston engine to Venezuela? |
 Are
there five foul-mouthed pensioners in front of you, reeking
of human dung and muttering racist curses under their breath
whilst turning to you for support? |
 Is
there a range of dusty £3.99 videos for sale in a box
nearby, all apparently starring Chuck Norris? |
 Have
you re-read the advertisements for your local driving instructor,
your local funeral service and your local proctologist so
often that they've taken up the bit in your brain you had
reserved for your name and address? |
| Is
there a range of food available for sale? Can you see a display
of Smith's "Football Crazies", a crisp they stopped
making in 1979? |
| Are
you standing beside a chest-high presentation display of padded
envelopes, bottles of cow-gum and rolls of the world's thinnest
and most expensive brown sticky tape? |
| Is
there a revolving stand nearby? Is it festooned with toys
which, although flimsy enough to break apart in your hand,
will doubtless prove sturdy enough to pierce a toddler's face,
violating several children's safety regulations, if not the
Geneva Convention? |
| Are
two mothers jamming the sharpest parts of a pair of double-width
pushchairs into your Achilles tendons over and over and over
again, presumably in the hope that you will dematerialise
and allow them to take your place in the queue? |
| Can
you purchase a range of popular software titles for £14.99,
including DOS For Beginners; Virtual Origami Interactive and
Getting By With Decimalisation? |
| Have
you got to the counter, only to be told they closed half an
hour ago and won't be open again until Thursday week? |
| » submit
your post office observation |
