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are you at the Notting Hill Carnival?
The biggest street party in Europe, a joyous celebration of music, costumes and industrial strength lager...


great community relations

 


don't spill any jerk chicken on that

 

 

 
Is a policeman self-consciously tapping a foot to some ear-bursting speed garage?
Is a sandal-wearing Trustafarian sitting languidly in the window of his third floor Ladbroke Grove flat labouring under the misconception that he in any way looks cool?
Are the streets awash with human detritus of a level not seen since the days of Sodom and Gomorrah?
Is the sight of white people attempting to dance to reggae music as amusing as ever?
And is a middle-aged white man sporting a rasta hat replete with comedy dreadlocks?
Has a major financial company handed out thousands of branded bandanas, cleverly merging ethnic diversity with corporate promotion?
Has every shop within a ten-mile radius mysteriously quadrupled its prices?
And is fucking Sainsbury's closed?
Do thousands of people collectively flinch when a car backfires?
Is a snaggle-toothed lout selling multi-coloured whistles as little more than a front for pushing low grade marijuana on consenting, responsible adults?
Is al fresco urination commonplace, with young girls reduced to squatting in a thicket like woodland animals?
As night falls, does it become a powder-keg of racial tension, with only the inadvertent spillage of a piece of jerk chicken required to instigate a flashpoint of ugly, wanton violence?
Is the whole thing basically little more than an excuse for a great big fucking piss-up?
» submit your Notting Hill observation
written by Steve Hill
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