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entry 10 - 9th November 2001
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forty two pounds forty

My giro came this morning, and, while I was expecting a lower figure than usual (due to having been sacked from the dole last week and placed on Hardship Allowance), I wasn't prepared for this: where it usually says £104.20, it said:

£42.40 ($61.43)

Don't forget... this is per fortnight.

I got my calculator and worked out the following chart.

TABLE OF EARNINGS (based on 8 hour day)  
occupation £ per week £ per day £ per hour
Bill Gates 1 squillion 1 squillion 1 squillion
Enya 100,000 20,000 2,500
A farmer 6000 1200 150
A nurse 181.20 36.24 4.53
A 'jobseeker' 52.10 8.68 1.08
Me 21.20 3.02 0.37


enya
So I'm now 'earning' 37p an hour, which I suppose you could say was fair enough seeing as how I don't actually do anything. But then you have to put this figure into perspective.

Take Enya for example, who doesn't actually do anything either. In fact she does worse than doing nothing - i.e. she makes Enya records - and then gets £2,500 an hour for having done so. And what's worse for me is that while I'm dossing on the beach, her shitty songs (where she rhymes 'ocean' with 'emotion') sometimes come onto the radio, so I have to get up and change the station.

This means that not only is Enya making me expend kinetic energy, but she's also using a small amount of charge from my radio's batteries, which, to replace, cost me a days wages (at my new, lower, rate).

My point is this: somewhere along the line I should be given extra money, taxed directly from Enya herself in some way.

In fact, I intend to try and convince the DSS of this, on a benefit help form. (£99,978.80 per week would be about right).

See you next week
Duncan

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