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Dear Duncan,
Hi - Its Enya here. I happened to notice your website entries as I was rifling
through the internet looking for horrifying animal porn with my terrrifying pack
of viscious lawyers, and I'm afraid that you will see not a penny of my massive
undeserved fortune. As the star who looks a bit like a normal housewife but gets
to make ethereal music and videos about nothing of any consequence, my obviously
oppulent and gregarious lifestyle is backed by a raw talent and creative fire
that someone in your position obviously cannot even begin to contemplate.
While I sing over someone else's music with masses of echo effects and enough
reverb to drown a whale, and pout in someone else's pastel covered videos trying
not to look risque so as not to alienate my house-frauian customer base whom I
parasite myself upon, you can seemingly only 'get it together' enough to produce
shockingly funny anecdotes from an honest and genuine life experience living with
the tramps and seagulls. That you bother to take the time to produce this engaging
and life-enriching diary that merely helps others in similar situations to feel
like their lives are worth something too, I really don't know.
You should be engaged in third-rate service-industry data-entry employment
with no prospects, as someone with your abilities clearly deserves. Please stop
claiming that a tiny fraction of my sickly fortune should have been distributed
more evenly in the grand scheme of things. If you want to know about the grand
scheme of things, then you should listen to my music.
Right, i'm off to do my christmas shopping in Milan in my custom-prepared re-upholstered
chinook helicopter with clouds painted on the sides by Damien Hurst, air-nymphs
and cherubin announcing my coming with diamond encrusted trumpets and an army
of the dispossessed and disenchanted there to break my fall when I jump out adorned
in fabulous silks from places so exotic their names are literally unpronouncable....
sorry went on a bit there.......oh yes I do that dont I
See Ya
Enya
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