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« seethru

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This is where you can leave a message if you wish. Email a message here. I try to answer emails as quickly as possible but I only get to the Internet Cafe once a week. Note: all these emails are genuine and unedited. Except where we've edited them. Or made them up.

8th December 2001 - 11:50

Murder Plot

Sorry to disappoint you but the plane/murder thing is off to a bad start. I've watched my Dad get hit by one and all it did was piss him off.

I was still a kid and while flying a plane and it all went pear shaped and my Dad stepped in the way rather than let it hit me (although now I'm sure he wishes that it had just twatted me and taught me not to be a berk). A bit of bruising and a serious slap round the head for me were the only results.

AJ Reid

In your day, the remote controlled airplanes were probably not as robust as my Corsair will be. But don't worry I'll do some tests beforehand to make sure it will do the job.

16th Jan 2002 05:10

Ooooh

What if Tim Tom gets hurt, and sues you for your 42 pounds?? You'd go hungry :(
Poor soul. You must make this foolproof

You really have given this a lot of thought haven't you? And stop staying up so late.

16th Jan 2002 03:45

And another thing

Let's say it all works according to plan, despite the publicity. What if the thing dives into his head, and he doesn't die? You got one aggravated Tim Tom on your hands to deal with, and you'll probably never get a second chance! Perhaps you should oil it up with something that is poisonous? Like in Hamlet. You need to secure the kill!

There's a degree of risk in anything like this. Poison would leave a trace. It needs to look like an accident. A bloody and hideous one.

16th Jan 2002 03:19

Killing Tim Tom

Wouldn't posting your intentions and methods on the internet kinda defeat the purpose of making it seem like an accident? Let alone spoil the surprise element, allowing Tim -Tom to strike first?
Your murder plans are sadly lacking :(

Ronnie

Ah but I know for a fact that TimTom doesn't have the Internet. Or understand it. In fact he may not even be able to spell it.

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