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five
methods of enhancement
There are several ways of bigging up your wing-wang (none of which
work BTW): The Tie-off
A age-old male stripper practice which involves rubbing your rig
to get a bit of bloodflow downstairs. This is called a "chubby".
You get your chubby and then tie a silk scarf or bit of rope round
the base of it, trapping the blood and giving your penis the look
of a great big fat swollen sausage. This will allegedly moisten
the gusset of any lady within a ten-foot radius. However, if you
'tie-off' for more than 20 minutes at a time, apparently you run
the risk of a RUPTURE. If you do this, your penis will DIE.
The Pump
in which the penis is inserted into a vacuum-pumpy thing, which
makes the penis go hard. And when the vacuum pump is removed, the
penis goes soft again. And that is all, really.
The Pills
a specially selected cocktail of vitamins and minerals which are
designed to increase cell renewal and bloodflow to the penis which
do absolutely fuck all.
Guaranteed Thicker And Longer Penis Using Our Exclusive Porn
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which involves flexing the muscle at the base of the penis twenty
times in quick succession, then twenty times slowly, then twenty
times quickly again, and gives you a funny strained expression on
your face, and very little else.
Anyway, after 12-odd years of tie-offs and clenching,
Mr M stops thinking natural and starts thinking surgical. Has the
op, likes it so much he buys the company (trust fund, baby) and
next thing you know, he's round the back of the Electricity Showrooms
unveiling the Congenital Macropenis for the investigative gaze of
your hard-working Hedonist. more
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